susah apa yah untuk ngomong 5-10 menit aja sehari?
emangnya angkat telp gue gitu repot?
apa2an sih? gue bingung, u dun even have all the time in the world for me. ok, gue tuh siapa bagi loe, gue tau jelas. I am a goddamn bastard that you knew and the one screwing your life n feeling. or did i screw anything? i thought u did to mine. Anyway, forget it.
Emang temen gak boleh telp 5-10 menit sampe loe bilang loe sibuk terus? crap. that's all crap. u ask me why you should talk to me? ok. first reason, ngomong doang kasih tau something n all that for 5-10 mminutes a day is godamn hard to you. Fine, i decided not to contact you anymore. N you said that it's not what u mean. So u ask why should I call? o why i should talk to you? fine. maybe i shouldn't.
maybe i just call my mates, ami or anna, or sam maybe or even jupri. Instead i chose to call u. If u don't mean anything to me, if i dun have anything to talk to you, why should i bother. u said i changed my mind so quickly that u can't keep track with it. Maybe u shouldn't bother to, u won't have the time to. I know that u r super busy and you are the most tired person on the whole world and have no streght anymore to pickup the call. Maybe u shouldn't.
U used to be my sunshine n u said i left u first. Okay, i left u first, anyway, u chose other thatn me. I know that when u said u won't regret, that's the time when i shouldn't even make any more contact to you. And that's when my heart break and it's not glued perfectly anymore.
Maybe i am the one who ask for it. I asked it to be hurt yet again. I am the one who made and did everything in the position i can't find any way out. I know i can't made it. I know i should just avoid them in the first place if i can. sebenernya loe tau gak sih siapa yg duain siapa? jadi itu semua salah gue? I am the selfish one. I am the one who force u to it. Everything is me. My fault. You know they are mine. Anyway, i think that way too.
Siapa sih gue yang selalu expect something from you? even if it is 5-10 minutes of your precious time which worth diamond. Jadi loe mau gue bayar tuh waktu pake duit? loe ngerasa loe gak ada waktu buat gue? even as a friend, gue gak bisa dan gak boleh minta 5-10 menit? jadi selama ini temen2 loe juga ngalamin yg sama kayak gue. so u want to blame people that u don't have friends? ok. i shall stop here. I shall stop contacting you. It makes u happy anyway. u can live without me, or without contact or knowing me for long time at least for 2 weeks. Kalo gak gue yg telp atau sms loe duluan, loe gak bakal do anything anyway. Kalo buat dia, loe struggle just not to talk for 1 week or 7 days, whichever longer.
Maybe it's true that people said that you are not the only girl in this world. You aren't anyway. someone suggested to find one in BIC. what's BIC anyway? Bethany Indonesian Church? or anyone want to recommend me?
Reminder: 1. I am not perfect
2. I'm not handsome
3. I'm not tall
4. I'm not clever
5. I have flaws
6. I am garing
7. I am sensitively melancholy and u never see any guy cry before, maybe u'll see the first in me
8. I am still childish and unstable
9. I spend money but i'm poor
10. I am the worst tha you will ever see in a guy
11. I am the worst boyfriend and may will be the worst husband and father.
12. I dun have any degree to hold on to, or any secured job to feed you.
13. I dun have money to treat you to anything.
14. I am very jealous guy. ( I mean it with the word 'very')
15. I dun have any quality that u can show off or even bear as you boyfriend.
16. i changed my mind quickly
17. my attitude sucks
18. I know i have nothing at all (trust me)
19. I am lazy
20. My character is very2 bad
21. no girl can stand me ( is there any? hahaha...)
22. I dun own any house or car, or a bike or a bed to lay on to.
23. i dunno how to add anymore, the list can't stop anyway.
Maybe i need someone who bring colour to my life. I am a shy person, and i'll avoid girls if I do not have anything important i should say or convey. I am eventually scared of girls. Gue takut banget. I won't say much to any girl anyway. kecuali tine2. hauhaua... ya gak sih? Maybe...
Lastly, I'm scared to love again. And I will be for a long long time. maybe I'm just scared of rejection. Abis nulis ini semua, udah lega deh. sobs sobs.... huahuaa....
+I'm in love with your imperfection. I know that you are full of flaws and imperfections, that's why i love you most.+
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